Why worry?

Luke 12:25
             25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

  It never fails, I always get caught up in worrying about all the things I have no control over. I know at the end of the day it's all in God's hands, however, I can't keep myself from thinking the worst in every situation.

I need to pass the national test.
                  I worry I won't pass, because that's the worst that could happen.
                  If I don't pass I won't be able to get another job soon and end up being a failure.


I need to get another job.
                  Hours are being cut dramatically and I'm barely making anything.
                  It's dreadful going to work there and I'm sick of feeling worthless.


I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life.
                  All of the unknown aspects are driving me insane.


I want the doctors to figure out what's wrong with my daddy.
                  ... And this one is the one that matters. This is the one I have absolutely no control over.
                  I want my dad to be happy. I want my dad to be healthy. I want my dad to live forever.
                  Isn't that what all children want of their parents? Is it asking to much?

I know there's kids out there, everyday, who don't have what I have. I know I'm blessed more than I'll ever know. I should have nothing to complain about.

Father, whatever happens to me, and my life, whether it's failing out of school, not finding another job, or never figuring out what my life's purpose is, just keep my father healthy. He deserves the best life. Please comfort him, while he's in pain. Encourage him, when he's in doubt. Heal him, if he's sick. 
Thank you Father, for all the blessings you've placed in my life. 

Here we go...

Father, tomorrow will be the first big step into the plan I believe You have for me.
       Simply stated,
       Help me through my test tomorrow Father. I want to do work for You, and I think this is how I'm suppose to do it. Guide my thought process as I read the answers and I know You'll stay with me through the end.

Thank you Father, for bring me to where I am today.

Momma knows...

Uh, I absolutely hate being sick. I feel useless, just laying in bed, sleeping most of the day away. I have so much that needs to be done and so much that I should be doing, instead of lounging in my bed trying to down as much warm tea I possibly can, in order to get my voice back.

I've had a lot of time to think though.  A lot of time to think about my life and what I'm doing with it. Is my life being led by selfishness or am I living my life for God. It's times like these when I can turn back and analyze all the things I've done or said or thought. My long term life goals are still the same. I still plan on getting my EMT basic, finding a job, and eventually using it for His work. However, if I'm suppose to be doing it ultimately for Him, then why is it so easy to slack off in that class when I know I should be putting every effort of my being into it? I have so much work that I need to do for that class, so much to catch up on. I haven't put in the real effort into that class that it deserves but yet I tried so hard, and so long to get into the program. Why is it, that I've taken yet another opportunity for granted?

I've been asking myself those questions since the first week of class, when I noticed that my attention in that class drifted. I had nothing distracting me from that one goal. I knew what I wanted and I knew how to get it. Why then is it hard for me to concentrate on a subject that I'm usually pulled into concentrating on.

Here comes the end to all of it. Today I will catch up in this class.

• I will not fall into procrastination. 
• I will not put socialization in front of my goal. 
• I will not slack off. 

If this is truly the path that God has chosen for me, I will work towards it eagerly and with wholeheartedness. 

Father, I pray that you give me the ability to not lose focus. I pray that You inspire me to continue on with the class and give it all I can till it's over  (one month). I pray that You use me for Your will. Keep my eyes on You Father. - Amen.