Sept 10th

Since it's been a few months of being on here, and the fact that I actually have time to be on here, I guess I can write about what I've been up to.

1.) Still working the same job.
2.) Taking an Emt Program as well as a few basics to finish up.
3.) Still teaching D Groups at church.
4.) Got back from China a few months ago.

The details of that? Well, since getting back from China, I've realized several things in my life need to change. I need to stop revolving my life around what I want, money, and living my life on a ridiculous time span that's unattainable. Life's gotta be based on faith and knowing God's gonna place you where you need to be.

It's still hard for me at times to believe that, but at the end of the day, with a calm heart, I know it to be true.

The Emt Program seems random to some, since I don't plan on working in the Emt field forever/ never really thought of it as a career move. I guess I never took a second thought to my wanting of an Emt, and always knew it's what I'm "suppose to do". Recently I spoke at my church about China, and the guy that followed me was a missionary talking about Haiti. It really clicked that I'm suppose to work in a clinic in Haiti, and it seems like it would work out, being that I'll have my Emt way before that in January.

I'm still highly considering moving to China to teach English at a university over their, and am still working on my bachelors in order to get over there with the program I'm wanting to be apart of.

In all of this, I still know, at the end of it all, I'm called to work with sex trafficking. I know all this other stuff in Haiti and China is suppose to prepare me for that. I know I'm not ready to be working within all of that and I understand. My heart still says it's the purpose to what I'm working for and I look forward to the day that I actually am.

Besides all of that, there's not a whole lot going on in my life. I'm occupied with school everyday of the week and work most days as well. I'm at the church on Wednesdays, and am doing homework most of my down time. Overbook myself this semester? You know it. Social life this semester? Not.At.All. Regrets? I hope not in the end.

With Opened Eyes

Well, I'm not sure if it's just been the day, or if it's my eyes that have been opened up. One thing that's sure, is the apparentness of God's work in my life and the lives around me.

This week has been an interesting one, and one that's had blessings just rain down. 

To fill ya in, here's what my week has looked like. 

It started off with hearing word from a job opportunity and the expected starting date of that opportunity. This in itself is a major blessing, and you can read previous blogs to get the jest of it. 

The next amazingly fantastic thing that took place, was wonderful news about one of my friends that's been having some trouble with her sight. In all the months that she's been told about everything that was wrong with her vision, and the predictions of what would be to come, the news just seemed like it was undeserving. I didn't understand why a God would let that happen to someone like her. To me it just didn't make sense. I don't wanna say that I became angry with God, but I would say that I was confused with Him and what His will might include. 

Throughout it all I was witness to some amazing faith that was showed to my by not only her, but several other people as well. Their faith awed me, in a way that I didn't really understand at first. I mean, I don't put limits on the power that God has and what He is capable of, but for someone to just have blind faith was different to me. 

Somehow, despite my usual skepticism something told me that she was taken cared of, that God would protect her and comfort her throughout what ever He had planned. This past week she was given some exceedingly hopeful news. Prayers answered. 

Another blessing that was shown to me, was that I actually got to make my last payment for school. Throughout all the stress that I've gone through in finding a way to receive enough money for that check, God provided yet again. The relief that has been given to me, feels amazing. I can finally breath again without that heavy burden sitting on my chest. 

Lastly, today was my first day at work. That in itself brings me peace. I'm finally relieved of finding a job, and all the job hunting, awkward interviews, and frustration is over with. I can't explain how good this feels to finally have a job again. To finally have a way of making an income, and a purpose. 

Thank you sweet Lord for constantly providing everything I need. You never fail me, and continue to be there for me even when I don't deserve it. You truly are an awesome God, and my eyes are opened to that statement each day. 

Latest News

Well, fortunately, I have recently been blessed with a job opportunity. I'm currently waiting on my drug test and background check to process (fingers crossed, fingers crossed) Ha, Totally kidding, I know they'll come out good.

Anyways, I'm grateful for finally getting to this point, and everything seems rather optimistic right now. Job hunt has gone on for over a year, and I can finally say I'm no longer unemployed.

Now's the chance to save up to pay for my classes, passport, and China. :)

Life of the Unemployed

Another day of not knowing whether or not I'm going to get a job offer. It seems like everytime I really think this or that job is going to pull through for me, it doesn't happen. It's like I'm being scolded for being too sure of something so it's taken away.

Maybe I'm suppose to just assume that I'm never going to get a job. Maybe then I'll have one fall in my lap. Or not. I don't know, but this job thing is frustrating.

I don't know what to do about the situation anymore. I feel so guilty for not having a job. I mean, yeah I'm going to school, but I feel like I should be working and earing something. Everytime I'm just sitting at home, I feel worthless and like I shouldn't be just relaxing or bumming it. I just want a job. I feel like everything would be so much better if I just had one.

I wouldn't feel so reliant on my parents all the time. I hate not being able to buy myself the things I need, given I'm not a crazy shopper and I never intend on it, but I would like to be able to purchase my own school supplies, and shampoo and stuff. I want to be able to save up money. You never know when you're going to need it.

Until I get a job, I'll be stuck here. Not "here" as in this town, state, or home, but "here" as in this sense of being, of living. This life style.

Another day, another prayer.