Hoarding Our Lives Away

Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other: “How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials and knowledge so that we are safe and secure if a crisis occurs.” So they started hoarding. So much and so eagerly that the other peoples protested and said: “You have so much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!” But the fearful hoarders said: “No, no we need to keep this in case of emergency, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened.” But the others said: “We are dying now, please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait… we are dying now!”

Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful since they became afraid that the poor and hungry people would attack them. So they said to one another: “Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us.” They started erecting walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether their enemies we outside the walls or not! As their fear increased they put bombs at the top of their walls so that nobody from outside would even dare to come close. But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realize that their fear of death had brought them closer to it. – Henry Nouwen


The above parable is from the book Red Letters by Tom Davis who has an inserted parable written by Henry Nouwen. The below link is a blog I found from a missionary serving in Uganda that had a related topic.


http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2008/07/last-night-there-was-rat-in-my-room.html

She says it better, and I agree. Most of us are living life too paralyzed by fear to do the things we should, the things that are expected of us, and the lives we're meant to lead.

Job?

So, It's kinda strange how things workout. Since I teach middle school bible study, I realize that the lessons I choose at random, aren't actually random. The past few weeks, I've taught on Integrity, Endurance, and Courage. All of which, apply dramatically in my life. I'm starting to question whether these lessons are meant for me, or for the students.

Lately I've been finding it extremely difficult to find a job. I've applied to so many already and never seem to catch a break with any of them. It's so frustrating to watch the payment day come closer and closer when I still don't even have a job. I don't believe it's due to lack of prayer, because the Lord can vouch for me that I log into that prayer request several times a day. I trust in Him that I will get a job, and that things will work out, but at the same time, I know that it's not going to go away.

Even after this payment, I still need to save up money for several other things that the deadlines are rushing towards. I don't know if it's in God's will at this time for me to get a job, but I sure hope it is. I'm running out of time, and options.

In the lessons I've taught throughout my great worry for getting a job, I've learned that I need to place all my trust and faith in Him for receiving this, and that I will be taken cared of as long as I keep Him in the center of it all. I believe in this, that He is the center of me getting a job. I mean, I need funds to do His work, don't I?

So then why is it such a chore to find one?
Is this not what I need?
Is there more to the lesson that I'm just not getting? Lord, please teach me this lesson before it's too late.

I place it in Your hands Lord. Thank you for providing me with what I already have.