I was raised with two brothers, both older. My oldest brother moved out of the house when I was around eleven and then later moved to Hawaii to be with his other part of the family when I turned thirteen. Haven't really seen him since then, which is going on eight years. My other brother, still lives with the rest of the family, including me.
I graduated when I was seventeen, about six months before I should have, so I would have the chance to move out of the house to another town ten hours away. In doing so, I believe I grew up a bit and gained some life experience. It wasn't easy and some tears had been shed, but in the end it's something I needed to go through to be the person that I am today. Through it I received a higher sense of independence and a new relationship with my Heavenly Father.
I missed my graduation, I didn't walk with my class, and I missed out on all the fun times that I would of had with friends. Sometimes I look back on my friends old pictures of graduation and wish I had been there to experience it all with them. The thought of going through the full twelve years of school to not be able to walk down the isle, grab your diploma, and switch the tassel over, kind of makes me believe that it wasn't worth it. I know that's a lie and in the end I have the same amount of knowledge as any of the others.
While I was away, I worked in a nursing home. That had it's perks and disappointments all in itself. I'm glad that I went through that job though, and I hope to one day be able to work in another one.
After moving back home a year after, I went through some hard times and didn't really understand God's reasoning behind me going, and didn't know if it was ever worth it. The ties that I once had with family members up there have all been cut with a serrated blade.
It wasn't until I found my current church that everything finally made a bit of sense. I'm still lost and confused in this world and don't know exactly what I'm suppose to be doing or where I'm suppose to be going with my life. I'm in search of my purpose in being here everyday, but I believe that there is hope in it all. I know now that God will always be there for me to pick me back up from the deepest of depths. I believe that one day it'll all make sense to me. I gained many friends through my church and I know that their friendship is a stronger friendship than any that I've had before. I don't know how I could have lived with out knowing God is there, and without the friends that I have now. I rely so heavily upon them.
My story doesn't end here. The words will continue to be written everyday of my life and I pray that they'll eventually carry meaning behind them.
