Adjustment.
Adjustments are necessary and they take time to play out. I feel like I've adjusted back to how it was, back to me pleasing me, and focusing on the things that I want in life. I've noticed lately a sense of anger/bitterness over the situation and I'm done with that. I'm done with letting other people have an impact on my emotions.
It's back to the priorities.
God
Education
Career
Family
I feel like I've learned a lot through this last break up. I've learned to not compromise what you want, to not look past the "little things" because those things WILL add up. I've learned that there are some character traits I appreciate and need in my life, and some that I can live with out.
Things happen for a reason, and I'm still figuring that reasoning out.
In God's time I'll get to where ever He needs me to be.
Singularity
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Being single, simply, just sucks.
You get used to a certain way, a certain method, routine, lifestyle. You get used to the companionship, the dependability, the comfort of not being alone.
I don't understand myself most of the time. I want something. I think I know what it is. I get it, and all to find out that again, I'm not sure if it's what I wanted.
I got into a relationship with someone I thought was the perfect match for me. I got into a relationship with my best guy friend at the time. Sounded like a Taylor Swift song. Too good to be true. Was so certain, so dead set that it would work out.
When things felt off, I tried ignoring it, tried telling myself it was just a phase of my emotions. Tried convincing myself I was going to marry him. That I wanted my life to be with him.
He's a great guy, and I know he'll be perfect for someone. I'm almost sure that someone is no longer me.
It kills me to think about how my life could have been. Where my life would have ended up.
It kills me to realize that I'm 20 years old, and I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what I'm doing. I haven't the slightest idea what's on the road ahead of me.
I feel so lost, and alone, living life as a single again.
You get used to a certain way, a certain method, routine, lifestyle. You get used to the companionship, the dependability, the comfort of not being alone.
I don't understand myself most of the time. I want something. I think I know what it is. I get it, and all to find out that again, I'm not sure if it's what I wanted.
I got into a relationship with someone I thought was the perfect match for me. I got into a relationship with my best guy friend at the time. Sounded like a Taylor Swift song. Too good to be true. Was so certain, so dead set that it would work out.
When things felt off, I tried ignoring it, tried telling myself it was just a phase of my emotions. Tried convincing myself I was going to marry him. That I wanted my life to be with him.
He's a great guy, and I know he'll be perfect for someone. I'm almost sure that someone is no longer me.
It kills me to think about how my life could have been. Where my life would have ended up.
It kills me to realize that I'm 20 years old, and I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what I'm doing. I haven't the slightest idea what's on the road ahead of me.
I feel so lost, and alone, living life as a single again.
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