With Opened Eyes

Well, I'm not sure if it's just been the day, or if it's my eyes that have been opened up. One thing that's sure, is the apparentness of God's work in my life and the lives around me.

This week has been an interesting one, and one that's had blessings just rain down. 

To fill ya in, here's what my week has looked like. 

It started off with hearing word from a job opportunity and the expected starting date of that opportunity. This in itself is a major blessing, and you can read previous blogs to get the jest of it. 

The next amazingly fantastic thing that took place, was wonderful news about one of my friends that's been having some trouble with her sight. In all the months that she's been told about everything that was wrong with her vision, and the predictions of what would be to come, the news just seemed like it was undeserving. I didn't understand why a God would let that happen to someone like her. To me it just didn't make sense. I don't wanna say that I became angry with God, but I would say that I was confused with Him and what His will might include. 

Throughout it all I was witness to some amazing faith that was showed to my by not only her, but several other people as well. Their faith awed me, in a way that I didn't really understand at first. I mean, I don't put limits on the power that God has and what He is capable of, but for someone to just have blind faith was different to me. 

Somehow, despite my usual skepticism something told me that she was taken cared of, that God would protect her and comfort her throughout what ever He had planned. This past week she was given some exceedingly hopeful news. Prayers answered. 

Another blessing that was shown to me, was that I actually got to make my last payment for school. Throughout all the stress that I've gone through in finding a way to receive enough money for that check, God provided yet again. The relief that has been given to me, feels amazing. I can finally breath again without that heavy burden sitting on my chest. 

Lastly, today was my first day at work. That in itself brings me peace. I'm finally relieved of finding a job, and all the job hunting, awkward interviews, and frustration is over with. I can't explain how good this feels to finally have a job again. To finally have a way of making an income, and a purpose. 

Thank you sweet Lord for constantly providing everything I need. You never fail me, and continue to be there for me even when I don't deserve it. You truly are an awesome God, and my eyes are opened to that statement each day. 

Latest News

Well, fortunately, I have recently been blessed with a job opportunity. I'm currently waiting on my drug test and background check to process (fingers crossed, fingers crossed) Ha, Totally kidding, I know they'll come out good.

Anyways, I'm grateful for finally getting to this point, and everything seems rather optimistic right now. Job hunt has gone on for over a year, and I can finally say I'm no longer unemployed.

Now's the chance to save up to pay for my classes, passport, and China. :)

Life of the Unemployed

Another day of not knowing whether or not I'm going to get a job offer. It seems like everytime I really think this or that job is going to pull through for me, it doesn't happen. It's like I'm being scolded for being too sure of something so it's taken away.

Maybe I'm suppose to just assume that I'm never going to get a job. Maybe then I'll have one fall in my lap. Or not. I don't know, but this job thing is frustrating.

I don't know what to do about the situation anymore. I feel so guilty for not having a job. I mean, yeah I'm going to school, but I feel like I should be working and earing something. Everytime I'm just sitting at home, I feel worthless and like I shouldn't be just relaxing or bumming it. I just want a job. I feel like everything would be so much better if I just had one.

I wouldn't feel so reliant on my parents all the time. I hate not being able to buy myself the things I need, given I'm not a crazy shopper and I never intend on it, but I would like to be able to purchase my own school supplies, and shampoo and stuff. I want to be able to save up money. You never know when you're going to need it.

Until I get a job, I'll be stuck here. Not "here" as in this town, state, or home, but "here" as in this sense of being, of living. This life style.

Another day, another prayer.

Morning Benders, and confusion.

So, I have no idea what this song means, but it's Excuses by the Morning Benders. 
I'm in love with the musical part. The words confuse me. :P But that usually is the recipe for a fan-crapin-tastic song. 
Look em up! 


You tried to taste me,
And I taped my tongue to the southern tip of your body.
Our bones are too heavy to come up,
Squished into a single cell of wood.

I made an excuse.
You found another way to tell the truth.
I put no one else above us.
We'll still be best friends when all turns to dust.

We are so smooth now.
Our edges are beaten, drift wood whittled down.
Old bodies slip when they make love.
We'll mine our sparks to shoot us above! 

You've made your bed...

Call me bipolar,
      Call me unstable,
      Call me indecisive,
             hypocritical,
             two sided.

My mind races fast,
      Ten thoughts a second.
Skips the logic,
      Past the sanity.

It stumbles,
     Unbalanced,
     On equals swift edge.
            Hovers,
            Suspended,
            Frozen in time.

Impulse takes over,
      Demeaning stabilities choices.
      Flight straight past,
      Wise decisions,
      And well temperament.

Count to ten,
      Breath a little.
      Realization of actions,
      Words, and implements.

Take it back?
      Impossible,
            Too late.

This bed is vast.