Day 29: Hopes, Dreams, And Plans You Have For The Next 365 Days

Hopes, Dreams, and Plans for the next year.

Well, guessing that the people who reads these blogs, if any, are people who actually have met me and know a little about me. Which I suppose even if they never have, probably know a bit about me now. I'd say that of the people who do know a little, know that I usually over-analyze my life and plans for the future to the point of it sounding ridiculous. I used to have my life established out by the years of my life and what goals I would have accomplished by those years. It was pretty idiotic. I still have plans for my life, and they still have a rough time range around them, but right now I feel like everything is on hold.

I want to get my EMT basics, and I've wanted to for the past two years. It continues to be on hold. I'm not sure if it is on hold because of me and my laziness, or if it's just not God's plan for me. I've attempted getting into the class at least three times, three different semesters and it just never pans out. This disappoints me because I'm lost if I don't know how to go about getting this. It's unclear to me the exact reason of why I even want this. It's nothing to do with my field of interest but yet I still feel a strong passion to go for this. I used to think I was suppose to get this to help out with a mission project that I'm passionate about. It has to do with Sex trafficking, called Phas 3 and the link is in the "Links of Interest" section on here. Anyways, I wanted to get that so that I could go on a mission and actually help, but that mission is in a month and therefore out of the picture.

I have hoped to have gotten a job since last January, and it's been a full blown year, and here I'm sitting on my couch occupying myself with a blog. Yeah, I am still in school, but I feel that that is also going no where. I don't put much effort into my studies and I feel absolutely no desire to go to class and sit through this junk that I feel is so irrelevant to life. I wanted/ still want a job in a nursing home, or just a job with meaning.

A job that gives me a meaning, or a reason to my life. A reason to wake up in the morning and actually go through with my day. A reason to not just waste my life away and lay in bed or just sit at starbucks. My life is beginning to feel excessively pointless.

I suppose over the next year, I want to establish a job, continue teaching the middle school d-groups, get my EMT basics, and put together an actual plan to go on a missions trip. To me, this seems like a logical plan that can happen if I go for it. I'm not sure if I'm still over reaching and just living my life in a dreamland. We'll find out.