Another day of not knowing whether or not I'm going to get a job offer. It seems like everytime I really think this or that job is going to pull through for me, it doesn't happen. It's like I'm being scolded for being too sure of something so it's taken away.
Maybe I'm suppose to just assume that I'm never going to get a job. Maybe then I'll have one fall in my lap. Or not. I don't know, but this job thing is frustrating.
I don't know what to do about the situation anymore. I feel so guilty for not having a job. I mean, yeah I'm going to school, but I feel like I should be working and earing something. Everytime I'm just sitting at home, I feel worthless and like I shouldn't be just relaxing or bumming it. I just want a job. I feel like everything would be so much better if I just had one.
I wouldn't feel so reliant on my parents all the time. I hate not being able to buy myself the things I need, given I'm not a crazy shopper and I never intend on it, but I would like to be able to purchase my own school supplies, and shampoo and stuff. I want to be able to save up money. You never know when you're going to need it.
Until I get a job, I'll be stuck here. Not "here" as in this town, state, or home, but "here" as in this sense of being, of living. This life style.
Another day, another prayer.
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